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Ten things you need to know about love

PUBLISHED: 08:51 06 February 2014

Red rose Bouquet with champagne

Red rose Bouquet with champagne

Archant

1 "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is a line from the 1970 film Love Story starring Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal. Anyone who believes this to be a factual statement is guaranteed to be single.

2 Divorce really can break your heart – women who divorce are 60pc more likely to get heart disease than those who stay married. Research discovered that among men, marital loss has a negligible effect on the risk of heart disease, although the risk of men wearing leather trousers and thinking they look sexy rises considerably on receipt of the decree nisi.

3 When you feel as if you’re madly in love, you’re half right. Scientists have discovered that certain parts of the brain become deactivated when we’re in love, including areas linked with negative emotions, planning, critical social assessment, the evaluation of trustworthiness and fear. This “temporary insanity” generally lasts for around two years and can often be cured by marriage.

4 The average Valentine’s Day spend is believed to be around £71.25, with men being the big spenders. Come on then, own up, who’s getting my share of the cash splashed on February 14?

5 In Norfolk, there is the enduring tradition of Jack Valentine’s visit on February 14. The enigmatic Mr Valentine would disappear into thin air after knocking on his loved one’s door and leaving his gift. The practice, which is believed to have survived in the county since the mid-1800s, was also extended to children, who would receive small gifts and tokens. Love tokens, not book tokens.

6 Love has been created in a laboratory by psychologists at the University of California who believe they have hit upon the formula that can unite lonely singles in a matter of 90 minutes. It involves taking two people who have never met, asking them to exchange intimate information and then asking them to stare into each other’s eyes for two minutes without speaking. Ironically, if the process works and the couple get married, staring at each other without speaking will – some years down the line – be a skill they are likely to employ regularly.

7 Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers (also known as “that one from Ghost”) is regularly voted the greatest love song of all time. It was the last song ever performed by Elvis Presley on television and is Simon Cowell’s favourite tune, which makes one wonder why he allowed Robson Green and Jerome Flynn to murder it so comprehensively in 1995 on his record label.

8 A survey by uSwitch.com revealed that the majority of women expect to receive “tacky underwear, cheap perfume and flowers from the garden” on Valentine’s Day, while men predict “the usual meal at an overpriced restaurant that they’ll be expected to pay for”. And they say romance is dead.

9 If you’re dumped by someone you love, you can expect to spend 63 days in abject misery, according to scientists, 62.5 of which will be spent plotting ridiculously complicated revenge plans that involve you losing three stone, transforming yourself into a supermodel and “just happening” to bump into your ex at the supermarket.

10 Love, as the Beatles once memorably sang, is all you need. Although a huge rock on your finger to remind you of that fact can be very helpful, too.

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